Friends?

I am a bit hurt at the moment, and I wanted to write instead of texting my friends and hearing "I'm sorry's" because although I appreciate their sympathy, at this moment I just want to keep it to myself (and to whoever reads this in the future)I've had this idea of what things are suppose to look like for "us"... I imagined, immediatley after taking a step back, that we would have a something that consisted of encouragment and a sense of true friendship, a brand new opportunity, different than anything else. A chance to reconstruct something we had both really torn down. Heal brokeness, and heal past pains and betrayals. I imagined myself learning to be more forgiving and allowing God to do His part in making me a woman who's eyes are always on Jesus.

Now, what I didn't imagine was that we would never talk, and he wouldn't return my texts, and more so, that he would do all of this and face me with a uniterested attitude.

I am terrified of sharing this with him. I am terrified of sitting in front of him, vulnerable, speaking my heart. Because I fear his response, and I fear the outcome.

Maybe it is best for things to be this way right now. Maybe I shouldn't fight it or try to change things myself.... In the beginning he told me he was afraid of what things would be like between us (our friendship) we both had so many questions, and the only thing I said was that we needed to seek God and ask Him what He knew things needed to look like, and maybe this is the outcome of it. Now thinking about it like that, its easier to accept.