I saw you tonight & my first instinct was to go right up to you & kiss your face & hug your body, to tell you about my long day & ask about yours. It has been almost 2 months now & my heart still reacts the same way. When I see you I still want to hold your hand, I still expect you to look at me like you use to. Every time I see you, I think back on all the things we both did wrong & I wish that we could go back & just do it all over again, maybe then I'd be happy. Though I know you will never read this, I have questions to ask you... are you honestly & sincerely happy?
Can you tell me why I sit here & cry over you, while you continue to be selfish & add another relationship to your list. You see, that's your problem. The way you dealt with our break up was to immediately start seeing someone else... you know that I can't even think of holding another persons hand other than yours, do you know that I don't have even the smallest desire to kiss someone. Do you know that I've built a wall so high that I feel almost incapable of caring about anyone as much as I cared about you. I bet you don't... I bet you don't know that I've dreamt about you every night for the last week, & that it brings me such pain to see your face. You have no idea because you are so caught up in yourself & you don't care that I am hurting. I lied when I said I didn't care what you were doing. I lied when I told all my friends that I was "way over you" , & I lied when I said I was ready to move on. I haven't moved on, & im scared.
I'm so far away from where I want to be. I just thought I'd let you know.
Love, Beatriz
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