Wednesday, May 28, 2008
Almost lover
Damn, this is not easy. Because my sane mind knows that my decision is the right one, the one that will ultimately bring me happiness even if its tough now, but my insane mind wants to take him back the moment I see him for lunch today. & I am just being honest. I know he is going to come to me with all the right words with all the solutions...but they still wont be good enough & I know that with all my heart. I am tired of making excuses for the guys I am with. I did that with Logan & I'm doing it with Shayne. Its time that I got what I deserve. Its time that I stopped settling. Shayne is amazing & I have had so much fun with him, he's made me so happy & has treated me so well, but we dont see eye to eye in everything. & that has to be important to me. we talked a bit yesterday & he kept calling me babe, & I felt weird, he acted as though nothing had happened. I woke up at 1ish this morning to a text from him saying "shlub you kiddo. hope this works out" wtf.
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Ay ve Bea, you know you keep saying I make excuses for the guys I'm with... but I think your making excuses all together with any guy. Because in your heart you know having a guy is not right and you need to just have yourself and concentrate on you alone (w/God) I know your temptations are tough my love, we all have them... and some fall as you know. But I think you have been through so much that maybe just maybe, it's you that needs to get things straighted before bringing a significant other into the picture.
But don't be distressed. You have many wonderful friend that will help you through even the worst of times. I know your friends can't fulfill everything a guy can, but most of the time friends is all you need.... all you need.
Call me.
Come over this weekend.
No excuses.
love love love
Danny Zuko
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